|What is the page of Sonic Gear that you DONT want to see more of?
Mutants, of course. No one actually wants horrible looking bad quality junk that ruins Sonic's reputation. No one wants to collect disgusting stupid items, or have their relatives get tricked into buying it for them by unscrupulous companies. So it is rather unfortunate that Mutant Gear has branched out into a second page of lameness.
However, we can make the best of it, by pointing out these lame things and making fun of them! Here is yet another page of stuff you won't want.
|Sonic Gear Main * Mutant Gear Page 1 * Mutant Gear 3 * Mutant Gear 4 *|
|Oh Amy, they have done you wrong!
First off, that "Groucho" eyebrow black line is quickly getting FAR out of control. Then...look into her eyes...her UNEVENLY SIZED EYES. Yes, you're seeing right, they have indeed used TWO different sizes of plastic plush eyes to make this amy. They couldn't even bother to make them match.
|Yes, this is Toy Network again, up to their Sonic sullying shennanigains with their anti-quality control stance and un-careful designers, they keep churning out the nasty plushes. This is a 33 inch Amy, so you'd probably be spending quite a bit to get her, only to find her eyes are wonky size failure. Credit goes to Link for finding this wacky Amy.|
|Here is Toy Network's effort at Knuckles.
Naturally, they ruin him. He looks like a disgusting fly with his huge plastic colored eyes, sewn on all sideways and wrong. His body is poofy with over-stuffing, and his shoes are fat too. The legs are too short and shrivelly. Still, it's his face that is the worst. When will they ever learn! No one wants this!
Credit to LightChao11
|Oh no, Amy's Naked!
Toy Network forgot to put on Amy's dress, so now the poor plush is naked. The faces on these dolls aren't so bad, but forgetting to put her dress on is a pretty big mistake. Sonic DOES have ears, but they have indeed forgotten to add them to previous Sonics. The only surprise here is, that this didn't happen to an Amy earlier! (especially with their record of bad dolls)
|Is this a mutant plush?
Maybe. It's wierd, at least. And finally, it's something NOT ToyNetwork. Well, let's have a run-down. We have different length shrivelly arms. Check. A very bizzarre wrinkly hand...what's going on with it? Eyes that are not sewn on streight. Check. A huge nose and bizzarre expression. Check. Then, look at his legs. They're fatter toward the 'shoe end' than at the top, and they don't look even. The nose is also somewhat 'carrot like'. They bothered with some shoe detail but...really this is a strange looking plush Sonic doll.
|Here's a curious plush. This one might of made it into a regular plush page...despite his error, but the terrible face just ruins him the rest of the way!
Another stab by ToyNetwork gives us Knuckles with a mutated chest-stripe which has now become a heart! How do you sew something so wrong? Clearly, this is not a "Valentines Plush" (which can be found on the Calander of Crud). This is just an error, and a strange one at that.
|The first photo also lets you see the rather stunted/shrivelly spikes in the back view. This was won out of a UFO Catcher/Crane Game at a Six-Flags Great Adventure Theme Park in the USA. Photos by Memeki|
|Ok ToyNetwork, its time for you to just fly into a black hole already. Seriously. Your awful dolls are scaring the children away. This thing is not even Sonic. The face is so horrible, the eyes so out of whack, and the ears so flappy. The stripe is even toward the toe of the shoe, but you can hardly notice all of what else is wrong with him (note the uneven chest-patch) due to that you can't stop looking at his big dumb head! ARGH.
Where is Sega in all this? Do they even know that these are being done to poor, innocent Sonic? One can't help but think they don't know what's going on. Photo discovered by Memeki.
|This certainly looks like it might be official...and shockingly enough, it is believed to be!
Item is FLAGGED. Bootleg Likely. This thing started out on the "Bootlegs/Fakes" page. Why? Just inspect the quality of it. First of all, are those squids or Sonic hands? He's got flailing wacko fingers! Then, his face is rather strange and round, with off-model triangle ears and suspicious square eyes. As you can see, it's supposed to be a keychain, however it looks more like a phony!
|Item is FLAGGED. Bootleg Likely. If one awful keychain wasn't enough, they've added another!
This one isn't quite as obviously awful as the one above, but it's still packed with flaws! It is currently under debate as to whether EITHER of these are real official goods or bootlegs. Until some company or official comes up with something, they'll remain on the mutant page.
Sonic has mis-colored ears, not-filled in eyes, horrible pose, gooey shoes, and if that wasn't enough, he has a DIFFERENT number of fingers on each hand! Also, what's up with his head and spikes?
It is way not reccomended to buy this thing (eesh at over 5 bucks!) unless you're into collecting crazy mutant stuff or just absolutely have to have everything Sonic.
|Here's a whole row of dumb dolls.
Every single one is a mutant. From messed-up stripe Knuckles all the way to shabby eyes Shadow it's a mutant row from ToyNetwork once again. This is their 7 inch line. Only Tails fares fairly well here, but his round feet and black bands don't help. Sonic looks like he may be melting, Amy is wrinkly and Knuckles can't be bothered to have both eyes going in the same direction. Photo discovered by: Streakthefox
|Here's a wierd looking plush that's finally not by ToyNetwork.
This one is by CartoonFansClub. They've obviously gone back to the 'felt scraps=Sonic spikes' way of thinking, despite that it doesn't work. The spikes here look floppy and...missing! Are they folded under? Chopped off? Or is this just a lousy photo. Then, you can find some mistakes too, such as the buckle on the INSIDE of his shoe! And then the 'shine dot' of the eye is usually toward the top (to give the character a natural look) but here you can see they're at the bottom, likely meaning they're sewn on upside-down. Sonic is also rather fat with stubby legs and a huge nose. Note the suction cup on one foot...what was this for?
|Another bad CartoonFans addition.
This keychain is rather strange. For some reason it makes Sonic look ape-like and wierd. He has super fat legs and wide ankles. Combine that with a mini back spike and tiny tail, and it only leads to a "Big body" look which is very unfitting. The lower half of Sonic's face is also giant, which makes the eyes look small and piggy. It also seems like his head only has 2 spikes on it, which is just inaccurate. The "Big dumb grin" (a'la Sonic Adventure 1) doesn't help the figural keychain. Due to high inaccuracy levels it is possible this could be a bootleg item.
|Photographed and owned by SuperSilver|
|Here is a selection of Toy Networks' latest mistakes. These are available at amusement parks and fairs such as Kings Dominion and Virginia State Fair (USA) as prizes for games. They need to be shown propped up due to their wilting bodies. With the right-hand photo, you can see their new money saving under-stuffing practice is NOT paying off. Tails is melting and has a mushy head and wrinkly feet, as does Sonic. They couldn't even stuff his ears, so they're all flopped foreward and wrong.
One thing to note though, that since the eyes aren't plastic on these larger plushes, they can't be sewn on at horrible angles, and they tend to be appropriatly sized. (putting them above the plastic eye figures) The actual construction of Tails' face isn't too awful, but the under-stuffing just does him in anyway.
|Do you need a small dose of ugly? Pick up this Shadow doll by Toy Network. Another of their awful anti-efforts has churned out this rather 'fly like' shadow. With his buggy eyes and melting muzzle, he's a tiny bit of bad!
However, they may (or not) be trying to improve. As seen here, his shoe-soles are detailed, and they've made his ears stand up (unlike previous flop ears) It also has 5 fingers and is sturdy. Still, that won't bail out his awful face. Photographed and owned by Super Silver.
|Avast! What is this hideous sight we see?
It's scurvy pirate Sonic! This plush needs to go to the brig while the usual culprits (toy network) walk the plank for making it. First of all, it's horribly tacky. The orange vest is clashingly awful, and his patterned 'sash' is really stupid. The pirate hat, instead of looking cool, is squashed and dumb. The legs are mashy, the hands mitten-like, the feet over-stuffed and round and his ears have once again wilted. Everything about it screams 'low quality' and lameness, but by far it's the case of "Bonky Eyes" that send him streight to the mutant pile. This MAY be for Halloween, but there is a "pirate day" so who really knows where he belongs...other than in the bin! In the words of SuperSilver (photo submitter) "Toy Network needs to stop trying to plunder the fans with this trash!"
|Of course...we can't just have nasty dumb pirate Sonic, we need lame Pirate Knuckles too. Avast, what dumbness be this? Knuckles in suspenders and stripes with a witch hat because apparently they can't figure out what a pirate hat looks like more than 1 time (and they used that on Sonic) What is he holding? Couldn't be a sword, most likely it is a small pennant or something. Still, everything is once again dumb about this, what pirate wears over-alls? IS this even a pirate? Is he a farmer with stripes? Why are his eyes sewn on at crazy angles? It's sort of reminiscent of a "My Buddy" doll which of course is related to a "Chucky" doll, which you really do not want to own. Only with a stupider hat. Has a plush finally stumped the "What is it-o-meter"? Photo discovered by: Fuzzball Raccoon|