|Scary Tails Doll:
Mascot of Mutants!
|Sonic Gear is all about showcasing everything Sonic the Hedgehog related.
But that doesn't mean that everything Sonic is cool. No...there is a dark side to all the collecting, and it is called "Mutant Gear". Companies aren't always careful when designing Sonic stuff, and when that happens you get ugly merchandise!
Sonic Gear isn't afraid to call 'bad quality' or 'horrible design' when it's found, and that's what this page is all about. Here, you can see the WORST examples of Sonic items so that you don't make a mistake and buy them! You shouldn't buy anything Sonic that you think is ugly or horrible, because it only encourages them to make more horrible junk that gives Sonic a 'bad name'. Caution: This page is full of insults and ranting. Let the laughs and scares begin!
|Sonic Gear Main * Mutant Gear Page 2 * Mutant Gear Page 3 * Calendar of Crud * Mutant Gear 4 * Mutant Gear 5 *|
|This "Shadow" is 16 inches high. You'd think they'd be able to get some of his details right. But NO. We have eyes not on his face, a horrible wrinkly "snout", horribly done hands, and what's with that wiggly mouth? His head-stripe is also way too wide...the quality of this looks plain awful. Stay away!|
|Shadow gets dumped on a lot in this section. Here's a different size doll, but they still can't seem to fit his eyes into the white space! This looks JUST AWFUL. But, they managed to detail the bottoms of his shoes. His chest fur is just a scrap of felt. ToyWiz is selling this, but they didn't make it so they escape the blame...|
|They couldn't even get this Shadow RIGHT. Where is the white patch on the front of him? This makes his body look like an ant or something. It doesn't help that his head is flattened, and he's missing the inside of one ear too! Where is the quality control, people?|
|This photo proves it came in 2 convenient sizes, perfect for scaring away fans!
Right photo by: Juuni
|No, they weren't trying here either. This is a horrible plush pillow of Sonic's head. It is VERY mutant. It has a nearly surreal quality about it...like the different features of Sonic's face floated together in space & made this sort of approximation of him. See it at USA Plushes. The guilty parties that made this are "Play Faces" & "Play by Play Toys".|
|Play by Play Toys wasn't done with just a pillow (above) They then made this totally horrible plush in 2001! This is again, one of the worst things to be afflicted upon the Sonic fandom! All photos of this plush by: GagaMann, from Sega Memories Blog|
|This. Is. Just. So. Bad. Where do you even start with this thing? It's BARELY Sonic! First off, they're throwing in details that shouldn't be there. That's right. They went *Out of their way* to make this off-model. Now THATS attention to failure! See...how did he get a belly button? It makes no sense! And buckles on the BACKS of his shoes? Why? How? Have they ever even seen Sonic? (I hope not)|
|Then, look at his horrible stupid head. No forehead so he looks ape-like. The bottom of his face is HUGE and it is dented in the center (notice he has TWO mouths!) so that the bottom of his face looks like a butt! Also, he's way too fat. The bottoms of his legs get fatter as they get toward the ankle, which makes no sense. Then why are the bottoms of his shoes purple? Off model. The eyes are TERRIBLE they don't even look anything like a normal eye. His spikes are knobby and wrong-way pointing. They left shabby 'felt flaps' for his back spikes because his head was too busy being eaten by a giant squid or whatever. They did bother to do the 'rings' of his glove cuffs and socks, however both of his hands are arranged into wierd symbolic gestures (peace or like surfer dudes or something) and the two center fingers are shrivelled. It goes without saying that his nose is over sized and the ears are shrivelled.
This came out before Sonic X and it seems as though the culprits (Play-By-Play) went out of business. (I wonder why.)
|The fans better watch out! ToyNetwork ha's gotten their hands on Cream the Rabbit! And they've spoiled her! Giant understuffed feet, tiny hands and a wrinkly dress are no match for her power of...forehead deletion! WHERE is the space between her eyes? It's jsut missing...making this doll look even more awful than usual. This is a newer (2008) addition to the mutant mess. It is about 9 inches high.|
|This is a metal figure of some kind. No one ever figured out who made it, or what it was supposed to be for. But it has scary wrong eyes and terrible little ears. You can see it over on USA Random 2|
|At first, you look at this and you say "It must be a bootleg, why is it here?"
But then...you see that it does indeed have an official tag! Just look by the foot, that's unmistakably a ToyNetwork round tag from their 2008 line of plushes! The white side tags are the same as their usual as well...
Which makes this a mystery mutant. What exactly are they trying to do here? Are they failing to replicate the (admitedly strange) charm of the Pale Dolls of Japan? Is this supposed to be "Silver" the Hedgehog? Super Shadow? An attempt at "Metal Sonic" (of Sonic 2)? Who knows! You might say "NO!" to all of the above because where are the details...but really ToyNetwork is nefarious for ignoring details and churning out endless samey plushes. Maybe they just had a bunch of left-over silver fabric? This has been sighted at "Hard Rock Park in Myrtle Beach South Carolina" (Right photo found by GrayStripe
|Oh no, this official mascot will scare everyone AWAY from Sega! The giant nose, the hot-dog mouth, the gloppy body! It's a good thing someone is smiting it with a soccer ball! Go Team! You can read more at USA Costume Characters|
|This will be good for some scares at halloween! This looks like they combined Sonic, a monkey & a shag rug! Nothing on his face is in the right place, the spikes are no excuse, and it didn't come with gloves? WHY are the ears on the sides of the head? This costume is so terrible it should never have even been made. Read more over at USA Accessories.|
|Ugh. Another ugly Tails from the USA. What is it with making nasty Tails stuff? Ok, the details are embroidered on for durability, but that doesn't excuse the funky mouth and hypno-eyes. His nose is nasty and pushed in, the feet are too big, his ears are puffy and tiny and his head looks mashed flat. This isn't cute its LAME. America needs to get a grip and start making good Tails dolls or no one is going to buy them. This is from "GK World" and they proved they could do a decent Sonic, so there's NO REASON their Tails doll is this bad. This has also been made into a 'keychain' by CuteSense (who also carries bootlegs, so do be careful) Fact added by ~Eneko To see their Sonic use USA Sonic Plushes.|
|It is not only plushes and stuffed things that can go wrong. Pins can cause disaster as well! This one is downright scary! Look at Sonic's awful line-like eyes, bent up ear and noodly face! His nose isn't even attached right. His arms are bendy and strange, and he has a giant hot-dog finger too. This pin is just a terrible example of bad craftsmanship on a Sonic item. Avoid this pin unless you need every pin ever made.|
|With these shrivelled and raisin-like entries, you can tell that Toy Networks' new plush-stuffing efforts have gone terribly awry! They're now under-filling the plushes leaving them wrinkled and mutated. Shadow takes it especially hard here, with a bent up face and goopey eyes. WHERE IS THE QUALITY CONTROL? These will scare kids, not help them to like Sonic and friends. Sega should fire ToyNetwork off their plushes quickly. Photo submitted by Zenkai Kenny.|
|How can they stand to keep making things that are this bad? This has...NO EARS. Where are his ears? They didn't even bother. But that's not his only problem. Look at his horrible fly-like eyes! He's scary too! The plastic pupil things are way too big for this doll. Then, his body is sort of 'gingerbread-man' like being very streight with just a 'dot' for his belly color. The bent up spikes and obvious head-seams don't help him any either. This is not a very large plush, but it is still very mutant. Photo credit to Zenkai Kenny.|
|Sonic Mutant Gear Page 2
Let the scares continue!