Horrible Holidays: Christmas Ugly Sonic Plushes
Calendar of Crud: Christmas Un-Special
|Here comes a page sure to get rid of Christmas Cheer...
The Calendar of Crud piled up too many holiday horror dolls so "The Crock of Christmas" has to have its own unfortunate new page of Sonic-sullying bad plush dolls. It's time to say 'ho ho oh no' to tacky costumes, ugly construction, stupid ideas & cheap looking junk that should go on the naughty list.
|Let's start the grinching with Candy Cane Crud Sonic!
Christmas colors just don't fit with Sonic's blue...so they made sure to pick the most rubbish green they could for the stripes on his withered hat & scarf. To further 'holiday-ize' him, theyve sewn a cheapo candy cane into his hand.
The real problem here isn't the dorky decor though, it's the poorly plush construction. Sonic's face isn't cute or fun. His eye is all wrong & his spikes are dishevelled & floppy due to understuffing and a poor pattern. Also, where are his ears? If they're under his hat, they're too high on his already pretty tall head.
Naturally, this is a Toy Network item (as are all the rest here on the Calendar of Crud)
December: Crock of Christmas (someone's been bad this year)
|I have some hideous striped fabric left over. Let's give it to Knuckles! Oh and we can make him more 'wintery' if we glue a piece of shabby felt to his feet and then claim he's "Snowboarding"! Sounds brilliant, those nerds will buy anything we churn out!
What is going on with the hat? Does it somehow have 3 pompoms? Is his cheap scarf strangling him? Who stands on a snowboard the size of a wilted dinner plate? Also the face construction here is terrible & the 'smile' looks like a tacked on iron on. Sad.
This is neither Holly nor Jolly, it is Sonic dressed (badly) as a stupid looking Christmas elf! Now his body is all green, and he has a festive vest and nasty striped hat. They've changed his shoes to elf-shoes as well, as you can see in the bottom of the picture. So basically what this is, is some elf body with a Sonic head sewn on top.
It's just bizzarre. Did they have extra Sonic heads from something & needed a good way to dispose of them? Were there somehow headless elves? Who decided this was a good idea? You'll have a holiday of horrors if this is under your tree! Discovered by SuperSonic1497
|The winter doldrums continue with this strange Amy Rose doll. Her dress is white, her shoes are black & she has on a top hat? A badly done top hat, at that! What's she supposed to be for? Again, they used too large of plastic eyes, & her ears are rather mis-shapen
However, other than her odd theme, eyes, ears & terrible hat, this plush isn't totally awful. Could they be making an effort...? Photo by: streak the fox
|What was kicked out of Santa's Sleigh? Probably this. Minimal effort & maximum dumb are added with antlers sewn to her headband & the usual crummy candy cane. Eyelash also sewn on so it falls down? Check. Over-size eye plastics? You got it. Rather get coal? Yes. Discovered by: Super Silver|
|The crock of Christmas continues with these lame dolls! How do you make something "Xmas" without any real effort? Why, just add in a lame flat candy cane probably found in a bin!
Here, the only holiday aspect of Sonic and Tails is that they've had a candy cane sewn to their hand. But, is low effort better than really tacky sad costumes? It's 6 of one and half dozen of the other because, as usual, the patterns here are just no good. The belly dot is super pointy for Sonic & Tails' face isn't cute at all. Their eyes are also uneven.
|Knuckles is next as "Santa's Failure" er, "Santa's Helper".
Now, they try adding a lame green shirt & hat to a rather irritated looking Knuckles doll to try and get people to buy this horrible 'holiday plush'. Where were these even sold? Were they some kind of prize? There's just SO MANY 'Christmas' variations of all the characters which are all just as badly done as the next with tacky gimmicks that it's tough to explain where htey're all coming from. All this'll do is help Santa into the dumpster.
|Merry Mutant! It's scary-Santa-Sonic!
Oddly, it took until 2021 to find the doll actually dressed as sub-par-santa, but here it is: a Sonic. The santa suit doesn't make it look any less wrinkly or withered. He has a Santa hat with 'merry christmas' written on the band, and is holding a brown star with holly leaves on it that also says "Merry Christmas". The doll body is normal, it's just dressed in a floppy santa-coat.
As usual, the problem isn't the accessories--the star could be charming if it was on anything else--it's the terrible FACE! The tall head, the awful eye-chips, wrinkly spikes, wrong mouth, badly shaped eyes...it's just so poorly done that you can't enjoy the doll its such a bad likeness. If they had tried even a little bit, it could have been a fun item but since they didn't: Crock of Christmas it is then. Photo by:
|Crummy candy canes, it's Christmas Amy....again ugh.
Here goes super low-effort Amy for Christmas again, this time with a different candy cane cheaply tacked on. Notice that interestingly, it is different (wider stripes) than all their previous candy canes. Did they run out? It's not hard to imagine that these things use leftovers from other (maybe better) lines. They've changed her dress too, it's light pink and has lots of little white stars. That's not a particularly 'holiday' thing to do, so why make the change? Maybe to have less effort making the dress?
It's the usual mutant junk pattern though, the too big green eye-plastics, bad-lashes and super thick for no reason boot soles. Plus...they're hardly boots this time? The whole point of Amy's shoes was that they were really tall but these are like Sonic's level. Not a good item, and barely a Christmas thing. Oy. Photo & owned by Jakeinator100
|It's a wreath-wreck with this trashy Tails doll.
Another not so merry mutant appears in 2021, despite this terrible line being however many years old at this point. Is Tails entered in an 'ugly sweater contest'? If not he should be, with a stupid green sweater with red pom pom buttons. There's also a meh-effort wreath sewn to one hand and...what is his hat? Is it another incidence of that cheap fake 'snow man' top hat thing from earlier? It's obviously squished somehow so you can barely tell what it is.
Orange and green don't look great together (on the color wheel) and here's no exception. Note that this doll doesn't have the usual eye-plastics but the iron-on decal type of eyes. That doesn't improve his withered legs, shrivelled arms, flat poorly-done tails or bad face shape, though. Another one for the coal-stocking, it seems. Photo & owned by Jakeinator100
|Only somewhat ho-ho-horrible?
Finally in the year 2021, the Christmas Shadow plush appears. And, it's just about as mutant as you'd expect...not their worst effort but nothing to write Santa over, either. Standard shrivel face doll with the too-wide head stripe, odd side-ears, and 'meh' face construction is now wearing...a tacked on red santa hat. That's it. That's the Christmas. The hat itself seems to have a tad of effort to it, as the base seems stuffed so that the top will flop over properly. It seems to have tiny white polkadots and a white rim/white pom-pom. This is another 'if their dolls were better it would be ok-er' type of item excepppppt....
Shadow is NOT a character that's very compatible with Christmas. It's like Batman or something, he's just not a festive character or item so it is 'out of character' to have him on the line. However that's probably the least of Toy Network's stupid worries. Photo & owned by Luigi The Crab
|Given the rest of the 'year of yuck' you know that there's a Christmas Shadow out there somehwere...waiting to be made fun of on here.|